Days 3-4: Ode to a Fish from Budějovice

The soundtrack to today's update is in celebration of being both half way through my challenge and also having raised over half of my target for charity!

Some of you may be aware that České the fish recently died in a tragic overeating accident. We tried to give her peas (fish laxatives) but they floated to the bottom of the bowl and she was so bloated that all she could do was paddle around upside down at the top. Anyway, after days of pasta and rice filling the gaps that meat and taste have left, if the world was a fishbowl I would definitely be at the top right now, looking down at all the little peas.

Honest to God though, if she’d died this week I probably would have eaten her and I can’t decide if that’s shameful or not. It would probably have helped with the headache yesterday which I’m convinced was due to a lack of protein or maybe vitamins or minerals or who knows. It was these deficiencies, not the chubby pre-growth spurt 12 year old living deep in my soul, that left my gaze lingering on every single thing that was leftover in the restaurant last night. Somebody left all of their rosemary and sea salt ciabatta, ALL OF IT.

I think on average last night I personally sold my weekly allowance's worth of food once every 5 minutes over a 4 and a half hour period. Not surprising considering the cheapest main, margherita pizza, is 5p shy of my £7 limit. Even though I knew that would happen going into this challenge it's still a bit of a kick in the nuts when you think about it. Also, I’ve just found out that Microsoft word does not recognize the names of Italian foods because this paragraph is lighting up with red squiggles. Another kick in the nuts!

The biggest test to my integrity though is not ASK nor, as I had anticipated, my mother. It is in fact the father. He constantly suggests taking one of his onions. If I was going to cheat I think I’d dream a little bigger than an onion champ. Plus, if I had an onion it might compromise the exciting sweat related developments I’m experiencing.

Me and the old man went for a sauna yesterday and another today which of course if I hadn’t snuck in both times would have cost far more than my food for the week. It got me to thinking about how much less salty than normal my sweat must be. I’m drinking way more water than normal (especially in the sauna) and sweating more out (because of the sauna) but I’m also eating very plain food with no flavour OR salt. Will my sweat eventually become pure? Drinkable!? (By which I obviously mean ‘disaster’ drinkable in a lost in the desert situation, not just casually at the dinner table) Or would I die before that happened? There's one to ponder.

Moving on, here’s another dive into what my parents have eaten tonight:

 

I was so hungry that I forgot to take any snaps of my basics pasta/tinned tomato combo but I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you can paint your own mental picture of that one.

Finally I’ll close by saying a huge thank you to everyone who’s donated because I’m over halfway to my target. However, I have been thinking... 19 million people in West Africa are suffering from severe food shortages right now and it’s clearly possible to sustain yourself over here for a whole week on just one hour’s (+92p) work at minimum wage. Now I’m no mathematician but that seems a little unfair to me!! Sooo if you think that’s unfair too...

To donate as little as £1 to help sustaining Nigerian livelihoods please click on this link:

Or text ‘BJBJ78 £1’ to 70070

Massive thank you to everyone who has / is going to donate!

R.I.P. České (2011-2012)

P.S. This blog is not designed to villify my parents - they are lovely people!!